I was just interviewed on an online radio show I want all of you single women to know about. Yvonne Chase created the show—Conversations with Coach Yvonne—to empower single women in every area of life…money being one of those areas. You can listen to my interview with her, along with all her previous shows at http://www.availableandhappy.com

But the point of this blog, being single myself, is a burning question I had for Yvonne, something that’s been plaguing me for years. Who pays for the first date?

Who pays? “I always offer to pay,” she told me. “You’re not in a relationship yet. I wouldn’t expect a girlfriend to pay.”

I used to feel exactly the same. After my divorce 5 years ago, I would always lunge for the check on the first date. It was my way of marking my territory, making sure he understood that I’m a strong, independent woman. I even got offended if he insisted on paying

About a year ago, however, my attitude changed dramatically. I’m not sure why, either. Now, I like it when a man pays the bill. No, I love it. (This feels kind of embarrassing to admit.) I don’t feel this makes me any less independent. I certainly offer to pay on subsequent dates. But it feels so good to be courted.

In fact, I recently had a first date with a very cute guy. But when the check came, he made no attempt to reach for it. Nor did I. Finally, after 20 minutes, I did something that could be construed as manipulative. I went to the bathroom. Lo and behold, he had paid the bill by the time I returned

You know something? That one experience so colored my feelings, I only went out with him a few more times…all of which I paid for, of course!!

Am I being old fashioned?

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