“It’s important for people to look back before they’re able to move forward.”–Karen McCall

Karen McCall has a special place in my heart. She was the first one to tell me I was an underearner. And it really pissed me off!

“I am not,” I said defiantly. “I’m a writer!”

Talk about chutzpah!  Here was the leading pioneer in the field of financial recovery. And I’m arguing with her?

Of course, she saw right through my defenses and gently guided me to the truth.

I can honestly say Karen changed my life…in ways I couldn’t even have predicted at the time!!!

She stopped seeing clients years ago to focus on training Financial Recovery Coaches.

Now there’s BIG NEWS!

Jedi Master McCall (one of her students used this phrase, in an email to me, to describe Karen) is offering a special 3 month program…Financial Recovery Foundational Training…for anyone.

Yes, it’s a prerequisite for the Certification Core Training.

And it’s also ideal for professionals to augment their financial coaching skills.

But, for the first time…and here’s why I’m so excited…this training is open to ANYONE (you, maybe?) who wants to transform their relationship to money.

This is an amazing program. There is nothing like it anywhere that I know. It’s truly transformational! Karen, herself, will be teaching. And the sessions are on the phone.

You will be matched with a personal mentor, led through  your own money history, uncovering limiting beliefs, and given a tool box of “Financial Recovery’s underlying methodology.”

In other words, if you’re really serious about healing your relationship with money, this class was tailor-made for you!!! To learn more: www.financialrecovery.com.

This course will rock your world. Are you ready?

I spent much of last year pondering this question: Why was I—along with scores of other women who’ve overcome underearning—still having difficulty cracking the code to even higher earnings?

Then, one day, it hit me.

Basically, there are three levels of financial development:

  1. Survival—doing whatever it takes to stay afloat
  2. Stability—generating enough cash flow to meet one’s needs, eliminate debt, and establish future security.
  3. Affluence—accumulating ample disposable income to live the life of one’s dreams.

The women I’d interviewed, who made millions,  were playing a very different game than what I had expected.  That’s because men tend to be highly motivated by profit, perks, and prestige. In the male world, the promise of affluence is a powerful incentive.

But not for women.  Once a woman becomes financially stable, she is no longer motivated by money.   What motivates her is helping others…or as numerous women described it, “ a search for significance.”

These are two very different paths to affluence. “Show me the money” versus “Show me how to help.” Too many women—like me—futilely struggle to navigate the first path, without realizing they have another option.

The latter is what I’ve come to call Scared Success™. It is the journey from stability to affluence…the game that is quietly being played by countless women (and, I might add, quite a few enlightened men!).

Stick around, and I’ll tell you exactly how to play!

I suspect my time spent in Surrender is drawing to a close.  I’m walking away with a whole new appreciation for down time and empty space.

But just recently, I’ve been sensing a shift.  My energy seems to be changing.

You know that light at the end of the tunnel I spoke about in Step # 6?  I think I’m there…standing in the light, not looking at it from afar.  The future is finally coming into focus.

I realize now, what I called Surrender was really Gestation. Despite feeling like  ‘nothing’ was happening,  I’ve actually been  quite ‘busy’ birthing a new body of work…which eventually will grow into my next book.

I call this new work Sacred Successthe next step after overcoming underearning. I stumbled upon Sacred Success while interviewing women who made millions.  But I really didn’t put all the pieces together until I surrendered.  Then, it was as if the pieces arranged themselves.

Just last week, like a proud mama, I took my new ‘baby’ out into the world.

I spoke at Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts (www.mamagenas.com)… my first speech in ages.  I told them all about Sacred Success.  The 200 women in the audience were transfixed.  It was like my soul was speaking directly to theirs.  And they were hungry for what I was saying.  Afterwards, I was deluged by those clamoring to hear more.

Now I’m chomping at the bit to share Sacred Success with even more women.  I desire to do it right here on this blog.  So invite your friends.

Discovering Sacred Success has changed my life.  It really has.  I believe it can change yours too.  I’d love you to read my upcoming blogs and let me know what you think.  I genuinely want your feedback.

“You don’t get what you deserve. You get what you demand.”
–Dianne Bennett, a 7th grade dropout who became six-figure woman.

More than half of the 1000 women polled by Pink Magazine and KPMG in 2006 felt they are not fairly compensated for their work.  But here’s my question. How many of them actually asked for more money? My guess, not many.

A salary offer is not a foregone conclusion. Ninety percent of Human Resource professionals polled expect salaries to be negotiated. Overcoming underearning requires you take a stand, ask for what you want, negotiate until you reach a mutually satisfactory agreement, or walk away where appropriate.

Here’s some suggestions for negotiating effectively.

  • Know what you want. Research the going rates in your field. Ask the high end of the spectrum. You can always negotiate down, but never up.
  • “No” means “not now.”
  • Negotiate salary only after a job offer. Don’t be the first to bring it up. “Make them fall in love with you before talking money.” (Wall Street Journal, 10/29/04)
  • Negotiate more than money: early salary review, signing bonus, relocation costs, profit sharing, flexible schedule, paid time off, benefits, perks, educational programs, expense account, club memberships, bigger office, laptop, cell phone, job title.
  • Act confident (even if you don’t feel it). Communicate with authority. Perceived confidence has a big impact.
  • Request 24 to 72 hours to think over the offer.
  • Always start negotiations on a positive note. For example, thank the employer for the opportunity and make a counter offer.
  • If someone acts put off by a reasonable counter offer, consider it a red flag. Perhaps the employer doesn’t value what you bring to the table.
  • The best time to negotiate, or renegotiate, is when you have other offers.
  • Get the offer in writing.
  • Above all, focus on relationship building. “It’s always harder for someone to say ‘no’ if they know you and like you.” (www.WallStreetJournal.com)
  • Practice negotiating with a friend or in the mirror. Have points prepared, build a case, around your value and what you bring to the company.

You know what I’ve come to believe is the biggest pitfall to making more money? It’s simply this: We think we have to have it all figured out first. Yet that’s exactly what slows us down, or keeps us stuck.

I realized this after giving two Overcoming Underearning workshops back to back. When it came to setting financial goals, the women who had the most trouble thinking bigger were the ones who kept trying to figure out exactly what they needed to do to get there. If they couldn’t figure it out, they tended to lower their sights.

That’s not the way it works at all…at least not for the thousands of successful women I’ve interviewed. What these women did was:Reach

1. set a goal,

2. commit to reach it (without having to know exactly how),

3. even if they had a plan, they took advantage of unexpected opportunities that fell in their lap.

A commitment is like a magnet…it attracts coincidences. I always say, once you truly commit to a bigger goal, and you don’t experience coincidences, then you need to go back to the drawing board. You’re obviously not totally committed.

That’s the way it happened for me. I decided to earn $125,000 in the year 2000. As a chronic underearner, I had no idea how I was going to do that. But as I learned from the six-figure women I was interviewing, I didn’t need to figure it out. I just needed to take advantage of synchronicities. Of course, these opportunities always lay right outside my comfort zone.

That’s the real secret to overcoming underearning. It’s not about trying to figure out how, but being willing to let go of control and do what comes next, especially if it’s something you’re scared to do.

My new goal is: Make Millions, Help Millions, Give Millions. Believe me, I have no idea how I’m going to reach that. But once I declared that intention, the universe started tossing synchronicities my way. I’m not there yet, however I’m spending a lot of time in my discomfort zone. I’ll let you know what happens.

I once kept a quote on my wall: “We pray to God when our foundation is being shaken, only to find out it’s God who is doing the shaking.”

I often recall those words when I coach women.

CalculatorJust yesterday, I talked to a client who was almost in tears. Her husband’s business unexpectedly went belly up. Suddenly, they had no income. She was forced to get a higher paying job.

“Do you think this crisis has anything to do with my decision to make more money and my lack of action?” she asked.

Obviously it was a rhetorical question.

I see this pattern all the time. Women do not get serious about money—making it or managing it—until a crisis hits. Either their world falls apart, or feels like it’s about to. That’s when they finally take action.

I did it myself. I waited until a million dollar tax bill almost wiped me out. Not smart!!

How about you? Are you avoiding financial stuff until the pain gets worse than the fear? Are you looking for a way to get going without having your very foundation violently (or even mildly) shaken.

If so, try this experiment. Focus on what inspires you and stop dwelling on what scares you. Forget all the things that can go wrong. Instead consider all you can do when you have more money. Not just buying more shoes, but making a difference. Think about the joys of philanthropy, leaving a legacy, contributing to causes you feel passionate about, helping your kids, your parents, people you love.

That’s what I finally did. I started thinking about what kind of a role model I wanted to be for my daughters instead of obsessing about screwing up. When I made that shift, I had no choice…I could no longer let fear stop me!

I’d love to hear other ideas for getting unstuck. What worked for you?